Soo… I got annoyed with my contact lists on both AIM and MSN. They were massive and I talked to maybe ten people in them, so I made myself a new email/aim account. Feel free to add me, folks.

Lenarian@hotmail.com or LenarianXx for AIM.

I feel  nice and fresh xDD A few friends made new messanger contacts and shit so it felt nice to get rid of one I’d had for yeaars. It had like 400 people on it, mang.

Anyway, Seattle was really fun. I was sick the entire time I was up there, so that was a downer.. But staying alone with Matthew was unf unf unf- Not that we did that, but it was fun okay!? D8<. PAX was kind of okay, I guess demo playing and shit just isnt’ for me xD. WoW Cataclysm looks fucking BADASS though ugh ugh I am so excited for it Dx..

Had a good weekend, again. I have like, jack all to write about, because once I’m in a good mood, it doesn’t go away for a long whiile xD. <3. I feel uh, cheery, and happy with myself, and all good with my friends. Of course there are still minor annoyances, but there always are in life, righht? … I’m going to crawl back into bed though because if there is one thing I am, it’s tired.

And I’m feelin’ good~. I listen to too much Muse. >>;.

Really happy, really optomistic, feeling better.. Yea. I’m happy.

GHSfgsdgfgf uggh oh my god. This is gonna be a whiney one, don’t read it unless you ..for some craazy reason wanna hear me bitching about my poor health.

I HAVE BEEN SO SICK FOR THE LAST THREE DAYS UGHH.. Two days ago, I think it was? I spent like. .ngnh, 4am-11am sitting in front of the toliet wishing I could just die or go to the hospital or something. Then finally my Mama offered to take me to the hospital yesterday and.. I sort of freaked out, and said no, cause hospitals scare the bejeezus out of me. My stomach has been giving me pure hell, and I dunno why. I haven’t been eating badly, I’ve barely been eating at all.

Haha, that’s why. I fucking ate. I ate like a sandwhich with some turkey on it and got hell for it. I feel better now. Mostly. I just keep popping Gravol until I sorta pass out. Sleeping is nice when you’re sick, but it gives me a headache. I hope I don’t develop a gravol addiction. Is that even possible? Ugh.

Despite being ill all the time, I’ve been in a good mood. It’s hard to be angry or sad when you’re just like “HGURKK *PUKE*” xDD;. I’m going to a wedding this weekendd.. Yaay.

Mmuh.. Anyone want to make hang out plans? Go to the mall? See a movie? I’M DESPERATE FOR INTERACTION HERE. D8 I’ve seen no human life for like ever because I’ve been in bed ;__;.

*..Pops more gravol* I need a bucket.,fhdsfhs

Oh god, I am sore everywhere, wth. I’ve been thinking about starting to exercise routinely, like, going to the gym. I already play DDR and walk a lot and swim and shit, but if I do too much of any of them I get reaaal sore… So, if I like actually ‘work out’ I’ll be able to build up ENDURANCE! GASP.

Still gotta finish that picture for the wedding. The wedding that is on the 11th. This saturday. Oh God, I’m never going to finish. I don’t want to finish it, actually. :[.

OH WELL. I had a really good yesterday, especially after getting all that crap off my chest. <– I had written ‘happy crappy’ instead of ‘crap’. I then had to scold myself, because that’s the style of speech a character from The Stand uses. He dies. Terribly.

*Twirl*

I’m getting a few freckles (and sun burns) here and there, cause I’ve been out in the sun. I think only I notice them, though xDD. They’re cute, I guess. The sunburns, not so much. Mom dyed my hair… But instead of my usual red it’s this dark coppery… Weird colour. I look very different.

I haven’t been oh so healthy lately. I’ve been sleeping for hours, from like 3pm – 9pm every day, as well as like.. when I go to bed at 12am-12pm. Eating anything, again, makes me sick, and I keep waking up at like 2-3am feeling like I’m going to puke and die. I’ve been falling asleep on the bathroom floor cause I dont wanna puke on the carpet. >>; So, if I end up in the hospital again, LET’S HAVE A HOSPITAL PARTY. SRSLY. The last time I was there when I had friends visit, we were so fucking retarded xDDD.

Okay, onto something else…

So, my friend Katie, one of my best friends, told me I’d feel better if I wrote a lot. I don’t see a point in writing something and just having it sit there, so I figured… I’d post it on my blog. That makes sense, right? >> I think so. She doesn’t read this blog, but it’s not like any of this is about her anyway. And some of it’s shit she’s felt before too. It pertains to both of us, and then has some issues unrelated completely.

HAHAHA I contradicted myself within one paragraph up there. Shows what a clear thinker I am when I’m bothered. xD Wow.

I guess this is kind of a rant?

Friends come and go, I’ve come to accept that. It happens, people drift apart – it shouldn’t really be a huge deal, I guess? Right? I don’t know. I had a best friend, throughout elementary, middle, and the first two years of highschool. Well, two best friends. One of them being Katie, and she’s still my best friend. The other was named Breanna. We were like, the world to each other, man. We did everything together, we even RP’d and LARP’d together (and gamed) like the biggest nerds in the world. It was great.

We didn’t care if people thought we were weird, we weren’t like crazy or anything- just liked ‘different’ things by highschool standards, I guess. And then, Breanna started to drift, right around the time Katie got a boyfriend. We always figured Bre’d be the first to get a date, but it was Katie. I thought maybe it was because she was nervous said boyfriend was taking Katie ‘away’ from us, so I talked to her, but that wasn’t it apparently. We didn’t talk about it, and she slowly gathered a new group of friends and left us in the dust.

I’m a grade higher than Katie and Breanna, so I can understand myself not being in the ‘group’ as much. We all had other friends, but liked one another the best. But… I guess Breanna stopped. She stopped trying to hang out with us, completely.

It… I guess, really just makes me sad that this happens. It wasn’t the first or last time something like this happened to me, but I think it was the time that had the biggest impact. Now, it’s a different story, a bit. We talk to each other once and awhile and sometimes hang out, but it’s really not the same.

I miss her, of course. But she’s going into grade 12, and she needs her new BFFs to help her through it, so I’m not going to make a huge deal to her about it. We’re still mostly friends, after all.

I guess, honestly, I’m just driftable from or something like that. This isn’t a self pitying journal entry, just more of an ‘Oh’. I just have a bad, bad habit of getting angry angry angry angry when I think of the people I’ve confided in and how I’ve gotten left behind, or about how they might be talking about me.  I’m trying to knock the habit. There’s no one saying I still can’t be friends with anyone, right? I like forgiving and forgetting and getting on with life.

I guess if anyone actually reads this, they’re going to think I’m some sort of coward for having to put all this down in a journal instead of just going up to people and speaking my mind. I’m not a coward. I’m just not too great at speaking to people. Everyone I know well knows this. I just bite my tongue and keep my thoughts to myself.

I know full well Breanna or fucking anybody could read this- That’s why it’s here. It’s not passive aggressive, it’s… Well, mostly it’s me reminiscing, but it’s also me thinking.

It’s me apologizing, for anyone I’ve ‘drifted’ from. I know I’ve done it at least once or twice. It’s me apologizing to anyone (especially Breanna) I’ve gotten mad at and with for ignoring me and moving on to bigger and better things. Most of all, I guess, it’s me thanking the friends I have for putting up with me and all my BS (haha, you guys probably know what and stuff xD;; ) and sticking by me, despite everything and anything.

I still have mixed feelings about everything, and I can’t place whyyyy.

Birthday soon, also commencement soon, and I have to actually go to it now. Balls. Life’s good, but I’m not getting any healthier. Ze doctors say it’s just a virus but it’s been forrrrever and it’s getting worse. SWINE FLU?! ONOES. Haha, nah, I just have a crap immune system.

Didn’t go to AE this year, fuck D8< I should have. I really wanted too but I’m so lazy. Drag me to hell was an okay movie, still have not seen Star Trek. I fail as a fan ;~;.

So, life has been good. I’m too lazy to write posts, usually, but hey.  I don’t really have anything to complain about. Server wise, I sucked it up, and took a break, and now… I just don’t let any of those little things bother me. I’m not going to worry about being called cliquish or worry about feeling left out or worrying about other cliques- Cause hey, it’s all shit everyone does, right? It’s all good. I’m just happy lately.

Well, I’ve been sick for awhile. Some sort of hardcore kicking my ass cold. My eyes are blood shot, my nose keeps bleeding, my throat is sore as fuck, but it’s not as bad as it could be. My stomach hasn’t been acting up lately, which is really nice.

Grad, or.. prom, or whatever, was fucking amazing, I had a good time.

So yea, not going to my actual Grad, Grad. My parents don’t want to go, and all my friends that’ve gone to theirs have said it is the boringest waste of time ever. I’ll just pick up my diploma later.

Life’s good.